There is a lady I know who has always been my semi-hero.
Okay, that's not true, my only heroines who I admire are Mary, St. Therese of Liseux, St. Gianna, St. Therea of Avila, St. Catherine of Sienna.....(I could go on!)
So she's not really a hero as such, but someone I always looked to for reassurance that marriage, medicine and family can mix.
She's about 8 years older than me, is Catholic and studied medicine at the same medical school than I'm at.
She got married aged 21 at the end of her 3rd year at medical school and then had 2 kids before even finishing her medical training. She then started working as a doctor part-time and had 2 more children, and now is training to be a general physician.
I never really knew her personally, and in fact never had a full conversation with her...I just knew of her, her broad life-story and had seen her & her family around.
But the example of her life was always helpful for me and gave me encouragment. Getting married during medical school is kindof a scary decision to make. I won't go over how many times I got "Married?! At YOUR age?! You're still at University! Are you sure?!"
Medical School is a lot of work; lots of hospital time, lots of revision..can I actually plan a wedding while at medical school? What happens if I get pregnant? Would I be able to cope? Is it possible?
So I found it very reassuring and helpful to know that someone out there in a similar situation to me has actually been there first and done it. "See? It is possible!"
So while she wasn't my hero or anything, I did find comfort in the witness of her life.
On my first day on my new psychiatry wards last week I was amazed to see her there!! She works part-time and is currently doing psychiatry work to gain some experiecne & training in delaing with people with psychiatric conditions.
So I have managed to speak with her during the last week quite a bit which has been very nice, because although I've know a lot of the overall details of her life, it;s been good to actually have an indepth conversation with her about it.
Yesterday I was asking her how easy she has found it to get hired as a doctor who won't prescribe contraception.....
answer.....very easy....because she does prescribe it.
That really upset me.
She is a Catholic doctor, very very pro-life, with 4 kids & wants more, she's done NFP training so she is qualified to teach it to others, told me she wouldn't touch contraception herself with a barge-pole.......
......but she does prescribe it to patients.
She knows all the arguments why not, and has thought about it lots, but her conclusion is that it is better to see these women and maybe talk with them about whether conrtaception is a good idea or not (which she argues no other doctor would do) and so perhaps plant the seeds of thought & change in their mind.
(although she admitted most women say no to her suggestion of NFP, so she then has to write them a prescription for the pill).
Of course it is good to be able to have these conversations with female patients, hopefully one day they will help someone to change....but then to actually go on and give out the pill is not something I would ever do, and also it doesn't make sense, because it undermines your stance.
How many seeds will you plant about the goodness of NFP and the harmfullness of contraception, if you then give the patients out the pill anyway?!!
Seems like you are choping away the branch you are sitting on!
I know 2 Catholic GPs who don't give out contraception, and the way they do it is that they just don't see these female patients at all; the patients know that Dr X wont prescribe the pill, so they go to another one. But my friend argues that she *wants* to see these woman, so that she might be able to have a conversation with them in the hope that they may one day change, rather than not having the opportunity to see them at all. Even if that conversation means she has to give out the pill. (Nb: she doesn't talk to all the women about NFP of they've come for the pill, just the ones that she thinks might accept it. Married, stable relationship, few kids already etc).
But I can't see how choosing to disobeying God and facilitating other people to sin can be a way to bring about good!
Look at some of the Saints! Some of them were hermits, or cloistered in a convent who never entered "the world"....yet they brought about greater world changes than most people put together!
Look at Saint Faustina!! Everyone knows the Divine Mercy picture!
and there are countless similar Saints! What about Mary and St. Joseph!! Humble, quite, consumed with love for God.
"Having the conversation" won't change hearts....only the Holy Spirit can do that!
Yes, I admit, having the conversation may help to plant seeds...but what good have you done if you have to cooperate with evil to bring about that change?!
Oh, and there is another reason in her case why she prescribes contraception.....her employers weren't overly favourable with the idea of her not prescirbing it.
So this kinda demoralised me.
Not only has a person I cared about convinced herself that a morally abhorrent choice is good, which really upset me,but also it re-echoes some of my worries....how easy will it be for me to get hired in the National Health Service in England, as a female Catholic no-abortion, no-contraception doctor who is married and probably will only be able to work part-time because of kids?!
However, a moment of reflection helps to quickly alleviate my worries in that latter area.
Any job is a means to an end, and not an end in itself. I'm not doing medicine for me, but for Christ; to help the sick and vulnerable, and to help support my family financially.
If I've been led to do medicine, then I am sure that, as long as I stay close to Christ, He will put me where He wants me to be, and I will do what He wants me to do!
I'll get employed somewhere, doing something!
Jesus can make anything happen in the most astonishing ways!
If I look back 3 years ago, I wouldn't have thought I'd be where I am now! So there is no point fretting about what is going to happen in the future. Just take each day, tackle each thing that comes with great patience, love and joy, stay close to Jesus, Mary & the Saints, grow in holiness, have hope and faith.....and then everything else will fall into place!
Oh, and please say a short prayer for my doctor friend!
Matthew 6:25-33
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
3 comments:
One of my favourite Bible passages! Antonia, I agree with your reflections that God will take care of us if we stay close to him, his mother and saints etc. and in this case keep his natural law! What may seem difficult in the eyes of the world is not for God -Anything is possible for God! And of course, I think the heading of the passage... 'Trust in Providence', just says it all. I will say a prayer for your friend. God bless you!
Can I just clarify what I meant -
specially in this case, keep his Natural Law.
We should do so always of course! But in this case it's particularly clear (the concrete stance on contraception).
After twenty years of prescribing contraceptives in his family practice my dad became a Catholic and stopped prescribing contraceptives, referring for abortions, participating in sterilization procedures (as an anesthetist - he does part-time anesthesia). When he became Catholic he had to write a letter to all his patients explaining why he would no longer be prescribing contraceptives. He was the only NFP-only doctor in town. His colleagues thought he was unreasonable.
He's my hero.
When he became Catholic it had a huge impact on his practice. He lost a lot of his young female patients (which wasn't really a problem since his practice was too large anyways). Others would go to his colleagues to get their perscriptions for contraceptives and for everything else stayed with him. Anyone who would come to him asking for contraceptives would get his "modesty and chastity" talk.
One day in highschool a girl commented to me that she had been in to see my dad and had asked for "the pill" and ended up getting a 45 min. talk on "this thing called chastity". I tried to back my dad up on the peer to peer level, and then finally ended up saying "If you think you got a heavy talk, try being his daughter!"
One of the amazing things is that because of his faithful obedience to the Church's teachings on marriage and sexuality he's had many Catholic (and even a few non Catholic) couples come to him wanting to know more about NFP, asking questions about the Theology of the Body, etc...
He's leaving his family practice this Fall and will be "semi" retired working only in anesthesia. He tried very hard to find a NFP only physician to take over his practice but sadly was unsuccessful in finding one.
Judging from my dad's experience, if you're going to be an NFP only physician it's extremely important that you keep up to date on protection of conscience issues in medicine, particularly in your country. Try and stay in touch with other NFP-only physicians who can support and guide you.
(Sorry for the long comment...)
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