ONE MONTH COUNT-DOWN

T-MINUS 30 DAYS.....AND COUNTING.....

His truth and His love

God's truths are always so simple...yet so incomparably profound.

God's truths are pure beauty and permeate endless love.

We could spend a life-time contemplating them, and barely be any closer to appreciating the increadible depth of their meaning.

God's love for us is so increadibly vast and infinite that we can't even begin to imagine what it must be like.

...and how much it must hurt Him when we deliberatly choose sin.

For this is why the Word became man, and the Son of God became the Son of man: so that man, by entering into communion with the Word and thus receiving divine sonship, might become a son of God.

– St. Irenaeus of Lyons

By their fruits you will know them

The greatest deception, and the deepest source of unhappiness, is
the illusion of finding life by excluding God, of finding freedom by excluding moral truths and personal responsibility

(Pope John Paul II, Homily, July 28, 2002)



St Paul reveals some ofthe fruit we must expect to find in a Christian soul: The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control(Galatians 5:22-23). This is not to say that a good person will not lose his temper, be selfish or lack gentleness fromtime to time. Sin affects each of us. But when the fruits listed by St Paul are consistently found in a person's life, we may discern that the source ofthis fruit is good.

Christian life is not the ascetic result of superhuman souls. It is rather the fruit that divine grace produces in those who generously let it work and actively cooperate with it. Just as God cannot do something evil, grace cannot produce bad fruit. In the spiritual life, God's grace is the ultimate source of fruit that isgood. Therefore, when we freely cooperate with this grace, the result is alwaysthe good fruit of holiness and our transformation into Christ.

(from Daily Prayer with Regnum Christi)

I want to live

THIS is a pretty cute video!

Okay, I admit, the song is a bit country-esque....but the sentiments are beautiful and you do actually find yourself humming along by the end!

Plus the babies are so cute! SOOOOOOO CUTE!

Oh, I didn't mentioned I saw 4 more babies be born yesterday!
I have decided on my absolute favourite moments in medicine......when mothers cry with pure joy when they first see their baby! That is definitly a priceless precious moment!

It's making me smile just thinking about it! :-)

*Maria*

post nuptual new creation

Me: Just think Chris, in 35 days we'll be married!

Chris: Yep! and then we won't be a Chris and Antonia anymore -- we'll be a Cronia!

Friendship

Never allow weeds to grow on the path of friendship. Be loyal.

– St. Josemaria Escriva, Furrow, #747

Skiving skool

I decided to give myself the day off today from Uni. I normally never skip anything and go to all my lectures and clinics (Chris calls me 'Nerd Girl' in fact cos I even go to stuff I don't necessarily *have* to go to!!) but I couldn't do it today.

Today was supposed to be my turn at the 'Family Planning/Termination of Pregnancy' Clinic.

That is, contraceptions and abortions. over and over and over.

I initially thought I might go to see what happens from the inside, but frankly, I just can't stomach it. I can barely cope when I have sat in Clinics and doctors have prescribed the coil to help with heavy bleeding, because I think about all the little embryos that it will kill.

I think it would be horrible to be in a Clinic where, for 4+hours every single patient coming in either wants contraception or abortion. I just don't want to be there.

I don't know if it's the right decision to make or not..... Maybe I should go and try to see how the system works in practice....

Maybe if I went I could say something....not to the patients because as a student I'm not allowed to give my opinion to them (I would get (metaphorically) shot by the Clinical Dean!), but maybe I could say something to the doctors...

but, to be completely honest, I don't know if it would change anything if I did say something to the doctors.
Doctors who perform abortions have studied, better than I, about the developing unborn baby, and have pulled babies out in chunks from their mother's stomach. They aren't in denial that they are killing little humans. They just don't think that this little human is worth anything.

In addition, they know that some people don't agree with abortion, so even if I said "But every single human is of incomparable worth and value from the moment of conception, and killing an innocent blameless human is always wrong" - they would say "well, I don't agree."

I dunno, maybe I should've gone just *in case* I could say something and it did make a difference.

But I have seen it in little dribs and drabs...abortion recommendations in case the baby has Down Syndrome, that teenage girl who just wanted to 'get rid of it', the endles endless endless contraception....

A whole clinic of the 2 things in medicine that pain me the most would be so horrible and stressful, that although I was undecided, as the time approached I just couldn't bring myself to go.

So if you participate in Mass today, please pray especially for those women who are allowing murder to happen inside them, and especially those doctors whose hands perfrom it.

Oh, and also for all the Catholics who use contraception (99% of all married Catholics).

40 days...

I can't believe there are only 40 days to go till The.Big.Day!

People are starting to ask me whether I am getting more nervous and scared as the day approaches, but to tell the truth, the closer it is, the less nervous I am! (may all change as the one week count-down starts though!!)
The closer we get the more convinced I am that it is right and good and that, for so many reasons, we are making a holy decision.

Truth be told, about 2 months ago or so I had a couple of days of "Aaaargh! Am I really doing the right thing?! Am I sure I'm not being called to the religious life? Do I truely realise that once I am married there is no way out?"
(although I never questioned whether, if I was called to marriage, I should marry Chris!)

I once went to a Mass for vocations and the Priest said in his homily that the reason we have fewer Priests & Nuns is not because God calls less, but because we don't listen. He said God still calls people to the Priesthood and religious life, but those vocations are stifled and suffocated by people before they have had a chance to mature and develop. People just don't consider that they may be being called to a vocation other than marriage.
God still calls, the priest said, but we don't listen.

There was once an Italian Nun visiting our Parish and she came to stay at our house. She told us that she had been 3 months away from her wedding when she cancelled it all and joined a Religious order. She said she had always felt a little voice, a little calling in the depths of her heart, but she really really didn't want to be a Nun and so always ignored it...and ignored it...and ignored it...

Eventually she said she couldn't keep denying it any longer, and so, at great personal cost, stopped her wedding plans and she says she is now so thankful and greatful to God! Our happiness in this world depends on the choice of our vocation!

From before Chris proposed I have tried to be honest with myself and have tried tp listen to God's voice by silencing my heart and my mind. Although I was dating Chris, I still thought regularly of whether I was being called to the Religious life, and prayed for an open heart and wisdom. I went to retreats, read religious vocation websites and tried to ensure that I was listening to GOD Himself, and not to my own words pretending they were coming from God (as so often we do).

Not what I want Lord, but may Your will be done.

So a few months ago I had about a week-long semi-crisis where I was really worried about whether I was doing the right thing and whether I had been genuine in listening to God's call.

"Once I'm married that's it! I'm married! I better make sure I'm truely doing God's will and not my own telling myself it is His...."


So I said a lot of prayers, went to Mass and adoration a lot and spoke to my brother who really helped me and gave me sound wonderful advice.


I realised that my consideration of the Religious life was always intellectual; that is, it always came from my head. I never really felt it as a calling from inside me, from my heart.
I realised that no Religious order would ever take me, because it was ME telling msyself that maybe I should become a Nun, and not God.

Whereas when I consider married life, it sounds weird but it feels lush and fruitful in my heart and like I am actually being called and pulled towards it by something greater than my own volition. That is, I feel something that isn't being made up by me.


So many many many many prayers later I can say that the doubts and fears in my heart have gone, and been replaced by peace and certainty.

As I get closer to the wedding, I actually get less afraid and more certain that it is the right decision and it is what I am being called to.


To end:

O Great St. Joseph, so docile to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, obtain for me the grace to know what state of life Divine Providence destines for me. Do not allow me to be deceived with regard so importance a choice, upon which depends my happiness in this world, and even my eternal salvation. Obtain for me that, being enlightened to know the Divine Will and being faithful in accomplishing it, I may embrace that state of life, which God has destined for me and which will lead me to a happy eternity. Amen

Comments

Just to say thank you to the people who commented on my last post. I had to get rid of all the comments because someone (annonymously) then left an unkind rude comment insulting the Church, so I got rid of it (and in so doing had to get rid of the rest).

I have now finally got round to putting word verification and logging-in requirments so no more spam and no more rude annonymous comments! (apologies to those of you who are nice and polite and leave annonymous comments!)

Dear Consultant

Last week our Consultant (big scary doctor, head of the department) was talking to us students about some of the patients he was going to operate on later that day. One woman, he said, "has nothing wrong with her. She's just full of psycho-sexual problems."

He then went on to talk about various psychological issues that can arise in relation to sex and he said that it can be fuled by many crazy cultural beliefs..."for example, look at the Catholic Church!"

To which my reply was "Oi! Watch out what you say becaue I'm Catholic".

He really didn't mean anything in an offensive anti-Catholic way, he's just a product of a mis-informed society being fed by the lies of the media and honestly believes that the Catholic Church is a backwards retarded group who don't know the first thing about sex.
"I just don't understand what is wrong with mastrubation!" he said.

To my shame, I didn't really speak very eloquently (okay, truth be told I spoke poorly) about the Church's sexual stance, and so I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and allow God to work despite my failings, and so I wrote him a letter....(with help from that increadible book "Good news about love, sex & marriage" by Christopher West!

I sent the letter today and thought I would share it:

I am writing further to our brief conversion in the corridor on Thursday 15/06/06 about the Catholic Church and sexuality.

So often the teachings of the Church regarding sex are inaccurately portrayed by the media, and perhaps also not helped in days gone by, by the mis-guided, but we hope well-intentioned, priest or nun. It is a shame that the majority of people regard the Catholic stance as one of “sexual negativity” because the Church’s teachings on sex and sexuality are actually incredibly beautiful, liberating and life-giving.

The reason I am writing therefore is so that you have an alternative source of information in this area, and hopefully any misconceptions you have will be corrected.

Far from teaching that sex is ‘dirty’ or ‘bad’, or something that should make one feel guilty, the Church has always upheld the inherent goodness and beauty of sex. John Paul II called it “the fundamental element of human existence in this world ”.

The Church teaches that sex is meant to be a physical expression of a love between two people. It is not just meaningless actions; but rather our bodies are used to express something; sex is 'body language'. In having intercourse two people physically unify themselves to one another and there is nothing more physically that two people can give one another. Sex is a total giving of your physical self to another person and in return, the other person gives themselves back in return. And so through sex we speak with our body, saying "I am yours freely, totally and faithfully".

Just as our verbal language should always be used to convey the truth, so our body language should always speak the truth.

Using our bodies to physically express a love that is free, total, faithful and life-long, is therefore only authentic in a context in which the two people involved have a relationship where they are freely, totally and faithfully committed to each other in a life-long union. Otherwise the sexual body language is not authentic and it won’t be what it is meant to be, the Church teaches. This relationship can only be marriage, where two people have made a life-long loving commitment to one another.

Seen in this light sex is genuine and beautiful; it does not seek to get anything, it seeks to give and affirm. It’s interested in loving the other person for his or her own sake, and receiving the same love in return.

Masturbation on the other hand is sterile and isolated; what is it but self-seeking, sex-gratifying sexual indulgence? The Church teaches that the sexual impulse should be conditioned by self-giving, not self-indulgence, and the pleasure of orgasm should not be divorced from the authentic loving of another. Masturbation does not allow sexual pleasure to be used as sincere gift of self to another but is rather introverted and it is because it distorts the purpose of sexual relations that the Church, staying firmly rooted in the Bible, teaches it should not be done.

Marriage preparation

Chris & I had our first marriage class on Thursday with our Parish Priest. He won't be the celebrant at our Nuptual Mass (Chris's Uncle will be) but he knows us well and so we asked if he would prepare us for marriage (Chris's uncle lives quite far away).


All I can say is....THANK GOD FOR HOLY PRIESTS.

What an incomparable gift a good Priest is to the faithful and to the world. Truley, a good holy priest cooperating with God's will and with God's teachings espoused by the Catholic Church, is something to continually praise God for and to beg that He will always provide us with such holy holy men.


So yes, our first marriage preparation class was outstanding.



Our priest started off by speaking about the convenent of marriage, its meaning and purpose and then for our first class he focused on some features that make a good marriage.

He spoke about the central role that spouses have of ministering to one another, in acting as a tool of the Holy Spirit in order to help heal the other person, to lovingly correct and help lead them to eternity with God.

The only way this is possible, he said, is if there is complete honesty and openness between the couple; problems and issues have to be brought up and talked about, not bottled away so that they simmer and stew and corrode slowly away at the relationship. Self sacrafice is required in order to the make the relationship work, not just expecting the other person to fit a role in your head of who they should be, and what they should do (e.g. not to mould them on to your parents). At the heart of this he added there must be trust. Because it is difficult to be completly open, honest and vulnerable if there is no trust.

He then spoke about some ways in which you can be open and honest with your spouse if you are worried about saying something face-to-face and he suggested saying it while in prayer together...for example:

"Lord, thank you for the gift of my husband. Please help me not to get frustrated with him when he XYZ".

and then if your husband is listening, he will be less likely to get upset than if you had just said to his face "You really frustrate me when you XYZ", because it was brought to God first, recognised as a weakness and a desire to change and improve was expressed.

Then our Priest spoke about the importance of truely letting go of your spouse's sins; that is, not dragging up a whole list of things from their past of how they have hurt you or offended you. With true forgiveness we must also forget (or at least act as though we have forgotten), and not keep re-opening wounds and dragging things up intentionally to hurt.

Then he spoke for a while about the central role of Christ as the third person of the marriage, and never to neglect to involve Christ in everything; every action and decision, every sorrow and joy..


He spoke for about 45mins and every word was gold.

It was so pure, so holy! I feel so overjoyed! What good gifts God has showered us with! How breath-takingly beautiful is His truth!
What love so strong, so vast and so beyond comprehension! And He invites us in to share it with Him!!

Our new home!

WE HAVE A HOUSE!!!

Oh thank you St. Joseph & St. Anthony!!


Today I paid our deposit and so it is officially OURS! (well...we are only renting it, so it's as much ours as a rented house can be!!)

It is lovely and wonderful and perfect and so much better than I could've hoped for!

I don't even know how we managed to get it; we get so much more for our money than every single other place we have looked at, AND it is lovely and clean inside, and not an utter dump like some places we went to look at.

It even has its own little garden, and a washing machine and a study room so I can go revise!!

It is so lovely!!

My first house!

I must publicly say thank you to my University priest because his homily on St. Anthony's Day helped us get this house!

He said that St. Anthony was a great lover of the poor and that, in his experience, a prmoise made to St. Anthony to help the poor in return for some small favour is always met with a reply on the Saint's behalf.

So that evening in adoration I made a promise to St. Anthony that I would donate some money to a Catholic organisation and especailly implore his help in finding us somewhere to live.

So yesterday I finished all the promises I had made to the Saint...and today I got the house!

BUT not only that, looking through my files I just realised that I actually found the house, and booked the appointment to see it last Tuesday...on St. Anthony's feast day!!!


But I must also thank St. Joseph as I have been praying for his intercession to help us find a house for the last 6 months.....so I know he helped out too!

Praise God!

He is so so so good!

We get the house about 2 weeks before the wedding so Chris will move in to start setting stuff up, and then I will move in once we get back from our honeymoon (we are going straight on our honeymoon after the wedding).

:-)

I am so thankful and pleased!!

One more thing ticked off the list!

God is so generous!

They dont want you to know that it kills babies

The medical profession are so dishonest. Especially in the Obsetrics & Gynaecology department.

From what I am starting to learn day-by-day about the inner workings and the attitudes of some doctors, if I ever had any women's health issues, I would not trust them to treat me.
It's not because they are intentionally evil, it's just their entire world view and understanding is so diametrically opposed to all that the Church teaches. What they promote as being "good" and "normal" is actually disordered and sinful, and the ways they think is best to "treat" certain conditions usually involves some horrendously immoral procedure that a good Catholic doctor would never think is necessary.

a little anecdote high-lighting more medical dishonesty:

After he had finished inserting the contraceptive coil into a woman one of the doctors gave me the little leaflet that comes with it.
I was having a read of it, and I spotted another subtle insight into the mentality of these people, and how they don't want to do ANYTHING that may put people off using contraception (or having an abortion).

Let me quote from the Mirena "Insertion Instruction" Leaflet (mirena is the brand name of this particular coil):

The contraceptive mechanism of action of Mirena is based on hormonal effects producing the following changes:

- Thickening of the cervical mucus and this inhibiting the passage of sperm
- Suppression of ovulation in some women
- Preventing the proliferation of the endometrium

The physical presence of the system in the uterus would also be expected to make a minor contribution to its contraceptive effect

What they have done above is actually increadibly dishonest; they have intentionally avoided being explicit about how the coil works.

"Preventing the proliferation of the endometrium" actually means that the coil stops the lining of the womb from growing so that if a sperm fertilises an egg, the resulting embryo (= NEW HUMAN LIFE) won't be able to implant and grow, and so will die.

i.e. abortifacient


"The physical presence of the system in the uterus would also be expected to make a minor contribution to its contraceptive effect" actually means that because the coil is a big huge piece of plastic/metal in your womb, any embryos which *do* implant and start growing will eventually die because the coil itself will prevent them from growing too big.

i.e. abortifacient


Plus, some coils (mostly those forcibly stuck into women in China) are made of copper, and the copper molecules slowly come off the coil and so poison and toxify to death any developing embryos.


They are so dishonest....and why? Because they don't want to put people off using the coil by saying that it works by killing new human life.

Incidentally, the pill works in almost the same way.



Poor Jesus. Murder is going on in women's own bodies.

anti-life and anti-love

I was in the Early Pregnancy Scanning centre the other day; it's where ultrasound scans done during early pregnancy (8-10weeks). It's not done as a routine, only if doctors have any reason to be worried about the pregnancy; for example, if the woman has a history of miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, or if she has been having any unusual bleeding or if she is just particularly anxious.

anyway!

So I have spent quite a few morning in the Early Pregnancy Scanning centre and seen lots of women being scanned. Some of them ask for a picture of the baby and so the Doctor usually prints them off another copy. Sometimes ladies forget to ask for a copy at the beginning and so the doctor usually then just gives them one of her copies (she usually take about 2 or 3 of pretty much the same thing).

I was in the other day and a teenage girl came in with her boyfriend. She had been sent up from the Emergency room because she had come in with some unusual bleeding and they just found out she was pregnant, and she didn't know (even though she was some 2 months pregnant already!)

As is usual with these cases the doctor asked the girl if she wanted to keep "it". and the girl said no.

So the doctor explained that even though she wants to have an abortion, a scan will have to be done anyway just to make sure that she is actually pregnant and then they can decide what to do with "it".

Before the scanning took place the doctor asked the girl if she wanted to see the screen and or if she'd prefer not to.
They ask this because they don't want a picture of their tiny baby to disuade women from having an abortion. how horrendous.

But the girl wanted to see the scan and so the doctor showed her. A perfect healthy & normal pregnancy in every way.

Afterwards the doctor explained to the girl how to go out getting an abortion, who she should contact etc etc etc. it was so sad.

The doctor then began sticking the ultrasound photos she'd just taken into the girl's hospital notes. The girl noticed and asked if she could have a copy of one of the pictures (there were 3 pictures of almost the same thing).

The doctor stopped for a second and I could tell she wasn't sure what to say and then she LIED and told the girl that she isn't allowed to give out pictures because they are needed for the hospital notes!

It was a complete and total lie because she doesn't need 3 pictures of the same thing AND I have seen her give out pictures before to other women when they've asked.

In my humble opinion, I believe that she didn't give her a picture because she didn't want to disuade her from having an abortion, and she was worried that the picture may tug on the girl's heart-strings and stop her from going through with it.

It is honestly depressing how anti-life and anti-love the gynaecology and obstetric department is.

St. Anthony's Day

Actions speak louder than words; let your words teach and your actions speak. We are full of words but empty of actions, and therefore are cursed by the Lord, since he himself cursed the fig tree when he found no fruit but only leaves. It is useless for a man to flaunt his knowledge of the law if he undermines its teaching by his actions.
– St. Anthony of Padua

back home yey!

Yey! I am finally back home after my 2 weeks away! I will still be doing "women's health" for the next 6 weeks, but at my local hospital.

Also, I can *finally* check all my favourite blogs again!!

I had a bit of a crazy day yesterday; after a full 9am - 6pm, I then went for a 2 hour walk around the town with a friend as it was our last night there.

And then at 10pm I went onto the birthing suite because I wanted to see if there was a birth happening because I needed to view another one so I could write it up in my project....

I ended up staying till 4AM!! It was pretty cool though as it was a water birth which I've never seen before and also the mother's waters never broke, so the baby was born still inside its amniotic sac, which was pretty cool to see!! (apparently not for the mother though as she freaked out a bit!) There is actually nothing wrong with being born still in your sac; actually it's a good things because it means the baby gets less distressed during labour because of all the water cushioning it during the contractions.

Once I got home at 4Am I spent some time writing up some details about the birth (just because I was afraid I might forget) and then I went to bed.

Less than 5 hours later, at 8:50am this morning, I tumbled out of bed and was at the gynecology Clinic by 9:10am where I stayed till 1pm!

I'm not quite sure what effect viewing all these births is having on my own perception of giving birth...

Labour seems to hurt. a lot, but then again it doesn't stop most women from having more babies, and none of them complain about the pain once the baby is born (their blood curdling screams and tears *during* the labour seem to be forgotten quite quickly!)

I'm not sure if it is making me more scared of giving birth without a 100% pain-relief epidural, or if it will make me feel empowered because I know what is happening and so be able to cope better...!


Anyway, I was surprisingly energetic till about 20mins ago and I am now starting to feel the fact that I only got half of my usual amount of sleep!

This weekend is pretty busy; I have my third (& hopefully final) wedding dress fitting tomorrow morning which I am very excited about! Then I have a talk on marriage in the evening with the Catholic student's group.
On Sunday my dad and brother are going to get themselves measured up for their wedding suits which will be super exciting!
and at some point I have to write up my brith project and prepare for next week!

Oh, and we may be a teeny tiny step closer to having somewhere to live!

haunted theatres

Just an interesting sharing from today...

I was waiting in front of one of the operating theatres this morning because I was going to veiw some operations and there were a couple of nurses standing near by. They were chatting about the operating theatres and how there are certain theatres in which things *always* go wrong (technical things, not during the actual operations). and one nurse said:

"Well, I'm *sure* theatre 4 is haunted. Whenever I'm working on night shift I'll happily go into any of the threatres alone, but I won't go into number 4, no way. Strange things happen in there and it just feels eerie and unpleasant. Plus it used to be the gynaecology theatre......"

Other nurse mmmm-ing and nodding


....meaning that's where all the abortions used to take place..


I just thought it was curious how a room in which hundreds/thousands of murders have occured seems to be recognised as the nursing staff as an unplesant and eerie place, and one in which they seem to 'sense' something evil...

quick mini update

Hello all! Thank you for all the comments you've left and my apologies for not having updated in a while.
I dont think i mentioned but I am not actually at home at the moment; last week and this week I have been working at a hospital a few hours from my house ( I return on Friday 9th June though).

Since my last post I have seen a couple of normal births; they were significantly more painful for the mother than a C-section, but once the baby is out, all is well! (unlike a c-section where there is at least a month of recovering from the operation!)

Not much else to report here; Chris came to see me yesterday and we went to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.
IT.WAS.SO.GOOD

I just realised yesterday that now I can say "I'm getting married next month"

ME

MARRIED

NEXT MONTH

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

We still have no-where to live though and I just discovered the other day that one of the new bridesmaids dresses doesn't quite fit as well as it should....

but otherwise all is well. I have a mountain of revision to do on women's health issues so I better scootle!

bye for now
-x-x-x-