"Love" vs. "Affection"

I really like the 'Ask an Apologist' thread on the Catholic Answers Forums because the Apologists give no-nonesence non-wishy-washy answers of undiluted Truth. (unlike the actual forums where sometimes you get a variety of opinions along the Truth spectrum).

anyway, once again, they have provided me with such great food-for-thought, that I'd like to share.
This is about marriage and roles of 'affection' and 'love' between two married people.
First came this post, and then this one in reaction.


In the first post, someone asks whether she can attend her sister's wedding, because she knows her sister and her sister's fiance don't "love" each other.

I think the reply is so good!

The apologist makes the distinction between love and affection.

Love is an action of the will .
That is, love is a CHOICE. We love someone by desiring and seeking that person's ultimate good....which is God.
Every Christian is called to love their neighbours, and married people are particularly called to love each other. Love is therefore vital to a marriage; as the two people involved have to DESIRE and WORK FOR each other's salvation.
That is what is means to 'love' someone.
Having the opportunity to be uniquely closer to the other person, married people are called to help each other to grow in holiness in an even more dedicated way.

However, this is different from 'affection'
Affection is an emotional attachment to another person.

Now-a-days, the words love and affection are often used as synonyms for the romantic feelings a couple has toward each other.

It causes confusion because people then assume that a couple that does not have such romantic feelings toward each other do not love each other.

That is a false assumption and too often leads to divorce when a couple assumes that a lack of romantic feelings means that the marriage is "loveless" and therefore should be ended.

Romantic feelings are important because they draw a couple together and can help to sustain a couple during difficult times, but, although they can assist the purpose of marriage, they are not a purpose of marriage.

Romantic feelings are not synonymous with the love to which a couple is called.
The love to which a couple is called is to help each other reach Heaven.
In other words, they are called to assist each other in becoming Saints. If the couple is blessed with children, they are also called to raise their children to be saints.


The posts explain it so well too. But I just thought that was so great and am really glad to have got that sorted out clearly in my head!