so 6 months on

Yesterday Chris said to me "Can you remember ever living at home?" (which was where I lived till I got married 6months ago).
I thought about it...and I could vaguely remember what it was like, but in a sortof far-and-distant-memory oh-yeh-that-did-happened-a-long-time-ago kinda way.
He said that it seemed like years and years since he was living in University accomodation, even though he only left at the end of July, and had been there for some 6 years!

So yeh...we've taken to married life like ducks to water!!
It just all seemed like such a natural step and I have certainly benefitted from being married.


So poo to all the people who spent last year exclaiming "Getting married?!! At your age?! While doing medicine? Are you sure that's a good idea...?" (while clearly showing that they didn't think it was a good idea!)


I wish I could say something profound about what I have learned about myself in the last 6 months of married life, but I'm not very good at saying profound things (as you know if you've been reading my blog long enough! That's why I resort to so many quotes from Saints; because there is no way I could say something as meaningful as that!)

Also, I feel like I was very well prepared for married life, that nothing really has come as a shock to me.

And that wasn't because we lived together first, or because we had sex to see if we were 'compatible'; we didn't do either of those things, becuase those things don't prepare you for a lifetime with someone.

It must be so awful to have a sexual relationship with your boyfriend before marriage. I would've hated it; it just takes away from actually getting-to-know them. I have heard so many times girls say that whenever they argued with their boyfriend, they then just had "make-up sex" and hey presto -- the argument was covered up. It never actually got resolved, they never actually spoke about it. The boy doesn't care anyway, because boys aren't really "into talking"; as long as they can have their physical gratification with no strings attached (contracepted sex with their girlfriends), they are mostly happy to leave it at that.
and it's the girls who suffer because they have been used, and are emotionally unhappy.

(yeh, I know I'm taking an extreme sterotype, but I'm basing it on real attributes I've seen in people).

and then what happens (I've seen this MANY a time too), because you've been together a while, you decided to move in together to "test-drive" your relationship for marriage.

It must be awful because a lot of the time you get stuck...stuck in a situation that you're not totally happy with (otherwise you'd just marry them)...but because you've invested so much of your life with them so far, have a house together, have had sex etc etc...you get stuck in a situation with someone who's not so ideal for you...

and then what seems to happen now-a-days is eventually people have their first child out of wed-lock, then decided to get married when the kid is 2 or 3, and then maybe have another child, stick together for a few years, and then get divorced.

whoopy! that must suck. ( I can think of quite a few people I know in this exact situation)


Chris & I were dating for 3.5years before we got married; we spent basically ALL our time together talking.

That's all we did...talk talk talk talk talk talk talk. We talked about everything; from the most ridiculously trivial (plenty of that!) to the more important. There was basically no topic that we didn't talk about, no topic that didn't come up; if we ever argued we couldn't just cover it up with 'make-up sex' (as people call it now-a-days), we were forced to face each other and talk some more about it, and our feelings and thoughts and so learn more about each other and ourselves.

We grew so much in those pre-marriage years. We helped each other grow emotionally ( I was pretty insecure), and more than anything, we helped each other grow spiritually and grow in a deeper relationship with God (seriously, I'm not exaggerating when I say our relationship changed so dramatically when we both started saying the rosary every day. Honestly!)

so I felt that I really knew who I was getting married to, and these last 6 months have been more a growing-together and strengthening-what-we-have than a getting-to-know each-other.


Hm, so maybe I have learned something profound..

When I was 21 I used to get so impatient sometimes, and was constantly focusing on "when-can-we-get-married-Chris?" "What-will-life-be-like-when-we-get-married?!" "Chris-won't-it-be-great-when-we-get-married?!"

It was all "when-we-get-married this" and "when-we-get-married that".

Looking back now I realise that it was THOSE exact days which were forming me for my marriage NOW.

Live the life that has been given you today, and don't focus all your energy on tomorrow's life.
If you correct your ways today, and try to change and imporove yourself today, it will make tomorrow better.

I guess everyone is like that to a certain extent aren't they?
Always focuing on "what's next?". What am I doing next in life? Now what?
Instead of actually living the day you have been given today to the fullest, and then trusting that, just as God clothes the beautiful lillies in the fields, He will give to you what you need.

(that obviously doesn't mean don't pray about the future...just don't obsess about it).

(I speak from much personal experience!)


anyway, enough rambling.

If I don't start my revison today I will fail my exams in June!!


Chris & I started going out waaay back in November 2002 (I don't have any photos from 2002), but here is Chris & I throughout the years..

2003 - in Venice




2004 - Christmas


2005 - the over-night vigil in the airfield at World Youth Day in Cologne (that's why we're looking a bit haggard!).
( sorry it's a bit blurry -- I had nicer ones of Chris & I at WYD but they all had other people in, and so I decided not to post them).

2006 yeh. speaks for itself!

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