antonia's world

I love St. Therese so much! I loved her instantly from the first moment I knew about her ( I found a random book on her on a book shelf while on a retreat), and I've always felt a special closeness to her for some reason.

I just found this describing the extent to which she practiced self-control even in the smallest things:

It's so lovely:

When Therese was ten-years-old, her father offered her sister, Celine, painting lessons, and then turned to Therese to ask her if she would like them also. Before she could answer yes, her sister Marie remarked that Therese did not have the same gift for it as Celine. Therese held herself back and remained silent, offering her great desire for lessons as a sacrifice. Later, in her autobiography, she remarked, “I still wonder how I had the fortitude to remain silent.”

Picture yourself in that situation when someone speaks out against you...it's a gut instinct to retort back with a sharp remark. What will-power it takes to keep silent.

She maintained this spirit in her years at Carmel. In the convent laundry of Lisieux, for example, she worked opposite a Sister who would splash her with dirty water while washing the handkerchiefs. She refrained from her inclination to draw back and wipe her face to show the Sister how much this annoyed her. This may seem very small, but the self will is as well denied and curbed in small things as in great things, and sometimes more so when they go against the grain.

I am failing so miserably at doing that.

Like just on Saturday for example, while rowing the girl behind me was out of sync with the rest of the boat so she accidently hit me in the back with her oar (it was pretty hard!)
So I exclaimed "OW!!"
She didn't reply from behind me.

A few strokes later it happened again! She hit me in the back, hard! (I'm sure it was an accident by the way!) So I exclaimed even harder "OWWW!! THAT HURTS!" just because I wanted to get a reaction of apology from her, because she hadn't responded the first time.

How shameful is that?

I should try to remain silent and offer it to Jesus saying "Jesus, you suffered so much for me, this is one tiny droplet of suffering I will suffer silently for you!"

St. Therese explained this “Little Way” with simplicity

“Far from being like to those great souls who from their childhood
practice all sorts of macerations, I made my mortification consist solely in the breaking of my will, restraining a hasty word, rendering little services to those around me without making anything of it, and a thousand other things of this kind.”

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