He then went on to talk about various psychological issues that can arise in relation to sex and he said that it can be fuled by many crazy cultural beliefs..."for example, look at the Catholic Church!"
To which my reply was "Oi! Watch out what you say becaue I'm Catholic".
He really didn't mean anything in an offensive anti-Catholic way, he's just a product of a mis-informed society being fed by the lies of the media and honestly believes that the Catholic Church is a backwards retarded group who don't know the first thing about sex.
"I just don't understand what is wrong with mastrubation!" he said.
To my shame, I didn't really speak very eloquently (okay, truth be told I spoke poorly) about the Church's sexual stance, and so I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and allow God to work despite my failings, and so I wrote him a letter....(with help from that increadible book "Good news about love, sex & marriage" by Christopher West!
I sent the letter today and thought I would share it:
I am writing further to our brief conversion in the corridor on Thursday 15/06/06 about the Catholic Church and sexuality.
So often the teachings of the Church regarding sex are inaccurately portrayed by the media, and perhaps also not helped in days gone by, by the mis-guided, but we hope well-intentioned, priest or nun. It is a shame that the majority of people regard the Catholic stance as one of “sexual negativity” because the Church’s teachings on sex and sexuality are actually incredibly beautiful, liberating and life-giving.
The reason I am writing therefore is so that you have an alternative source of information in this area, and hopefully any misconceptions you have will be corrected.
Far from teaching that sex is ‘dirty’ or ‘bad’, or something that should make one feel guilty, the Church has always upheld the inherent goodness and beauty of sex. John Paul II called it “the fundamental element of human existence in this world ”.
The Church teaches that sex is meant to be a physical expression of a love between two people. It is not just meaningless actions; but rather our bodies are used to express something; sex is 'body language'. In having intercourse two people physically unify themselves to one another and there is nothing more physically that two people can give one another. Sex is a total giving of your physical self to another person and in return, the other person gives themselves back in return. And so through sex we speak with our body, saying "I am yours freely, totally and faithfully".
Just as our verbal language should always be used to convey the truth, so our body language should always speak the truth.
Using our bodies to physically express a love that is free, total, faithful and life-long, is therefore only authentic in a context in which the two people involved have a relationship where they are freely, totally and faithfully committed to each other in a life-long union. Otherwise the sexual body language is not authentic and it won’t be what it is meant to be, the Church teaches. This relationship can only be marriage, where two people have made a life-long loving commitment to one another.
Seen in this light sex is genuine and beautiful; it does not seek to get anything, it seeks to give and affirm. It’s interested in loving the other person for his or her own sake, and receiving the same love in return.
Masturbation on the other hand is sterile and isolated; what is it but self-seeking, sex-gratifying sexual indulgence? The Church teaches that the sexual impulse should be conditioned by self-giving, not self-indulgence, and the pleasure of orgasm should not be divorced from the authentic loving of another. Masturbation does not allow sexual pleasure to be used as sincere gift of self to another but is rather introverted and it is because it distorts the purpose of sexual relations that the Church, staying firmly rooted in the Bible, teaches it should not be done.
